Sergeant Bob “bufo bufo” Fergusson was born near Edinburgh and really wanted to be a helicopter pilot, but as he didn’t like physics, and Leonardo Da Vinchi’s designs had not been taken seriously at that time, he resigned himself to joining the 4th Light Dragoons instead. With his trusty steed, he served with distinction at Balaclava on the 25th of October, 1854; he captured a Russian Artillery piece with Captain Lowe (but due to Health and Safety Regulations and Animal Welfare concerns, they wisely decided to leave the heavy piece in situ.) Frustrated at “Cowardy Custard” Lord Cardigan’s refusal to let them have another crack at the enemy, Sergeant Bob later gave evidence in the Calthorpe v Cardigan libel Case. Although very fond of music, he stubbornly refused to learn to read it, as he considered it to be an unintelligible gathering of up-turned tadpoles on lined paper; the drum and bugle were his limit . Having retired from military service, he then qualified as a Toad Warden as part of the “Toads on Roads” initiative in Kent.